


And We All Fall Down

by Shadowblight



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 21:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowblight/pseuds/Shadowblight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akemi Homura doesn't know it, but she is actually her own undoing. Post-series fic; an exploration of the source of Walpurgis Nacht.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And We All Fall Down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jougetsu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jougetsu/gifts).



> I hope this isn't too horrible to read. I did this actually in parts and pieces, and I feel like they still read as parts and pieces despite my attempts to make them flow. =_=;;
> 
> I'm sorry this wasn't more upbeat as the person who requested it tends to prefer, but... it's Madoka. ^^;;
> 
> See post-notes for canon-blathering.

Akemi Homura doesn't know it, but she is actually her own undoing.

"Do it." Her voice leaves no doubt.

"She did it for you, you know." Kyuubey tilts his furry head. "Are you sure you want to?"

He is just baiting her now, and Homura loathes herself to know it is working. "She did it for everyone. I said, do it."

Kyuubey's tail flicks from one side to the other, and then he stands. Space distorts, his eyes begin to glow red; Homura swears she sees his close-mouthed grin grow wider every time she's seen this happen, even if she knows it can't be.

"Akemi Homura, What is your wish?"

"To stay together with Kaname Madoka again. No matter how long it takes."

The last wish apparently hadn't been properly worded enough. At least Madoka had fixed her mistake; she had made this timeline right.

She would make her own choice right, this time.

Kyuubey takes it all but readily.

***

"So, Akemi-san," Mami's question is bitten off in pieces, her older senpai image shattered by her uncertainty and, more importantly, her discomfort with the other girl, "what was your wish?"

They're at that corner cafe, it's later in the evening, and besides for a few older couples speaking in hushed tones, they're the only patrons. Homura pauses in opening the lid of the hot tea she'd ordered. She'd never known Mami to be quite as forward as this except in battle.

After a moment of consideration, Homura suspects that it is probably because she's become too sensitive to the nuances of the personalities of these girls; these sometimes comrades, sometimes foes, set her off.

"You made your contract a long time ago, right?" Mami continues, somewhat bolstered by the pause with the incorrect assumption it might represent hesitation in answering. "You seem fairly... experienced."

Homura stares at the tea for a moment. It's a darker shade than she's used to. "No," she replies honestly. "I made it very recently, actually."

"Oh." Mami covers her surprise reasonably well by sipping at her own drink.

 _I made it twice, and I'd make it over a thousand times._ In the end, it is all Homura felt she knows how to be anymore, and to contract twice over for Madoka was more than enough.

Homura's determination is her happiness. For this reason there is no regret.

"Like you, my wish is selfish. Unlike you, my wish isn't for myself," the dark-haired girl states plainly, without much thought. She finally takes a drink; the taste is strong and nearly scorches her throat.

Mami spends the better part of the next ten minutes puzzling over this statement in silence, then leaves a napkin with her number scrawled on it, pays up her tab, and exits the shop.

Homura uses the napkin to wipe away the condensation from Mami's cup compulsively, smearing the writing to the point of illegibility, tosses it in the trash - it's fine she already has the number anyway -, and then does the same.

She tells herself she needs to remember she has it this time around. After all, some things just might turn out okay.

***

Over the next several months, they set up a system. It's fairly simple and honor-based - to call if encountering something alone. Mami insists they do so, and while Kyouko would normally protest the entire thing, let alone being ordered around, she seems to have become a bit more laid back in this corrected timeline. (The snarker in Homura tells her it's because the red-head is finally getting laid.)

Sayaka, on the other hand, is as stubborn as ever. "You gotta be kidding. I can handle anything I can track."

"Is that why she's always hover in the shadows whenever you go out?" Homura asks pointedly, flicking her gaze at Kyouko.

Kyouko takes a bite of a red bean pastry and rubs a little at the underside of her nose as she chews. Sayaka tosses her a withering glare. "What? It's not like I'm stalking you, or something."

This only aggravates Sayaka more. "You'd better not be! I don't need a babysitter!"

Homura is fed up by this point, but her tone remains level; the girls from this incarnation do benefit from Homura's control of emotion, and in fact have never seen her make a single outburst of her own. "Then don't place yourself in a position that requires babysitting."

Strange as it may seem, quarreling with Sayaka felt pretty darn right to Homura. Sayaka's face turning a deep red as she processed the statement only serves to vindicate her, and Homura is selfish enough right now to let it stand.

"That's enough!" Mami's voice is firm and clear. "We'll do it because it's safest. Our individual strengths aside, if one of us gets caught off guard for any reason whatsoever, that's the end of the line."

Kyouko nibbles the final crumbs from her fingers noisily, then says, "For whatever it's worth, I get both sides." She stands and stretches with her arms folded behind her head, looking down to Sayaka imploringly. "No reason to get prideful about it."

"Hah, now there's the pot calling the kettle black." Sayaka is unappeased.

There's a moment of uncomfortable silence.

Eventually, Homura stands as well. "Do as you wish. Our goals are not the same, even if the paths may coincide at times."

"Akemi-san-"

"I will abide by whatever you decide. I'm capable of working alone _or_ together," Homura cut Mami off, and while it was obviously a barb aimed at Sayaka, she keeps her gaze cool.

Mami looks at her with head tilted, but her voice as clear and firm as before. "But, Akemi-san, what _is_ your goal then?"

Homura glances to the side, and then back at her.

"I'm just hunting to destroy all the demons," she answers the question in a way that's intended to be very vague and metaphorical; knowing that only she herself would fully understand.

Kyouko crosses her arms. "Ain't that the same as us? Well, at least, anymore..."

The smile that graces Homura's features is more eery than anything. "You know what? You're exactly right."

 

***

They are older now.

Homura feels like this is the strangest part about it. Before, it hadn't occurred to her that she'd never aged. Being a magical girl - and all that went with it - was well enough for her to ponder.

But now, they are aging; their bodies fully develop, their minds have the opportunity to mature. And while this certainly doesn't imply that they actually change their habits and patterns, they have a more rounded edge to them, at least.

Their opponents have now become classified by type. Homura's knowledge is wealth to all of them, even if what they fight now are no longer witches, but really only Mami learns to trust it.

The irony is not lost on Homura, but she keeps it to herself.

She and Mami actually become friends, somehow. At least as closely as one might call the aloof Homura a friend; they share tea somberly once or twice a week, and Homura never cancels. They talk about very liittle, usually more enjoying each other's presence as the lounge about in Mami's living room. Occasionally they talk about guns; a natural interest to the both of them, even if Homura has learned the use of a different weapon now.

This night seems different than the others. "Homura-chan?" Mami's mode of address for her has also changed over the past two years, though Homura can no longer place exactly when that was. "Do you ever wonder how long it is we'll be doing this?"

What _this_ was needed no stating.

Homura thinks back, reaching for every memory she can immediately grasp. She brushes up against her very first meeting with Madoka, and her own innate shyness and embarrassment. She finds the time she and Madoka first went to the cafe, just to hang out - as friends! -, and her own slow-building contentment at the feeling of being there with her. She lingers on the moment she felt Madoka's cheek against her own when she clung to her in excitement over a successful training attempt, and her own fierce rush of enjoyment after being stemmed by the initial shock.

"As long as it takes."

Mami narrows her eyes, sets down her teacup, and uses her thumb to rub the knuckles of Homura's hand. She has become probably a bit too used to Homura's clipped and vague responses, and also probably a bit too good at interpreting what they actually mean, even if she doesn't know the context. "Then I hope we'll make it that far."

***

The steel of old rides groan quietly in the shut-down amusement park. It is just past dark. The ghosts always like these areas, once filled with people; once popular and recognized, but now forgotten and almost foreign, not unlike themselves.

Kyouko lands, back to the exploding bundle of energy that was once a source of malice, and hefts her spear in a couple wide arcs, burning the afterimage of light from its tip into their eyes. She always had like to show off a bit. "That it?" She peers around, nonchalantly.

There are no mazes for ghosts. It is simply quiet.

"Yes," Homura responds softly, tossing her hair forward from behind her shoulder. "It should be."

Kyuubey leaps onto Sayaka's shoulders. "There doesn't seem to be any seed this time." If Homura didn't know any better, she thought she might have heard disappointment in his voice.

"Same difference," Sayaka groused.

"Whatever," Kyouko shrugs. "All I know is it interrupted me cooking dinner. And it wasn't even that tough." She looks at Homura in aggravation.

Homura swallows the retort she has. She's swallowed so many of them, after so many continuities, it seems a shame to start letting herself become passive aggressive about it in the timeline where everything's right.

Instead, she lets it go, and turns to walk away.

Sayaka ignores her - Sayaka has never liked her very much ( _I can't promise something I can't do_ ), besides which Kyouko has also always been loud enough for the both of them - and tries to get Kyouko to do the same by asking her what she's making for dinner. Kyuubey wonders if she'll also make the cookies he enjoys.

Homura continues to walk into the darkness.

***

There are no longer witches, but the world still had its fill of trouble.

More recently, the frequency of appearances have increased, and they need to call upon each other more often. It is time-consuming, sometimes even a couple times each night. Mami and Homura no longer have opportunity for tea, among other things.

The scent of gunpowder wafts through the air. Mami stands, panting a little, more from her jog here than exertion from the fight. She wipes her brow with the sleeve of her magical girl outfit then disappates it.

Homura grips the bow's handle, enjoys the feeling that she's closest to Madoka whenever she needs to materialize it. It gives her a sense of completeness; the only thing she can say honestly does in a world that has no Madoka. Only this feels truly right.

"They've been more annoying lately," Kyuubey comments, consuming the grief seed as Mami finishes with it.

"You're right," Mami responds, but doesn't seem ready to pursue it.

But Homura knows well just how much Kyuubey likes to ferret away important tidbits. "You know why."

Kyuubey freezes; even his tail doesn't move. It's the closest thing Homura can pin to being startled.

"Tell us."

Even Mami seems a little perturbed with Homura's directness, now, and quietly brushes at the edge of her skirt.

"You wouldn't want to know the answer; are you certain you want it anyway?"

Homura grits her teeth. "Of course I do." _I'm not the sort to ask questions unless I mean to know their answer._

Kyuubey's tail now flicks twice. "Then I will show you."

At first, Homura prepares herself for a disorienting ride of images assaulting her mind; she has been "shown" things by Kyuubey once or twice before. Instead, she is presented with a single image, almost fragile and beautiful in its simplicity.

In her mind, an image of Walpurgis Nacht, the one who had taken Madoka from her so many times, spins lazily in a dark purple haze. Around her in a circle, turning in the opposite direction, the many various shadows of other magical girls dance; they lock hands on occasion, but also sometimes raise them almost in praise to the figure of Walpurgis Nacht, hailing her.

For Homura, it shakes her psyche deeply to be reminded. She tosses her head to clear the image, but the horrifying feeling clings to her; not even the bow in her hands is a comfort as she grasps it so tightly to ground herself.

"You can't say I didn't warn you," Kyuubey says plainly. He wanders over to a low-setting wall around the garden they'd cleared the demon away from, and leaps on top of it to give Homura a more even stare than from the ground. "If you want to know more, though, you can always ask me." With a single nod to Mami, he jumps down on the other edge of the wall, hiding himself from their view.

"Homura-chan, what was it?" Mami asks.

The dark-haired girl can't bring herself to respond.

"Ah, your hand..."

Homura looks at her hand, the one holding the bow. It is dripping blood, flowing steadily down onto the ground in rivulets. Her mind begins to play tricks on her; the streams of blood shimmering in the lamplight become the flickering inside the shadows of the magical girls dancing around Walpurgis Nacht. Closer yet, she focuses on the gears that make up the witch's body; for the first time realizing something she'd never associated before. Homura blinks and then squeezes her eyes shut, but the image still haunts her.

"Homura-chan, why don't you-"

"I'm fine," Homura states flatly.

"You don't see-"

But then time stops; Homura makes it so.

She needs the quiet to retreat into.

***

It takes less a month more of being run ragged - the hunting now cuts into their sleep, with Sayaka and Kyouko (and now, sometimes even Mami) bickering with her on a regular basis - before Homura finally can't take it anymore.

"Incubator, why did you show me that?"

The two of them are alone; she had made a conscious decision not to call the others to this one, and Mami would likely be angry if she found out. She wouldn't find out.

"What if I told you I've thought up a way that I could grant your wish?"

Homura turned her head sharply.

"No, actually, that there would be only one way for it to come to fruition?"

Then Homura frowns deeper. "Out with it."

Kyuubey leaps backwards in a somersault, and as the white of his tail clears his body, a very large grief seed is revealed. Dark energy swirls around it in loosely organized rings.

"Do you know what this is, Akemi Homura?"

Swallowing hard, she feels herself reaching out to touch it inexplicably. As her fingers near it, the darkness jumps suddenly, causing a jolt of recognition within her, then the energy begins to harmlessly encircle first her fingers, then her hand, and slowly her arm. Homura is so shocked that she simply watches it in morbid fascination; she knows what this is, even before Kyuubey speaks.

"This is the grief seed I recovered from Walpurgis Nacht."

The energy is now encircling her entire right arm, and is apparently strong enough now to lift its seed host on its own. It does so, and the seed teeters somewhat before making a more steady and deliberate path to Homura's outstretched finger.

"It knows you." Kyuubey pauses. "It is you."

As the seed touches her fingertip, Homura shudders; she knows Kyuubey's words now can only be the truth. The seed does know her; she can feel that she knows it.

"But more importantly, it is the only key known to exist that might grant you your wish."

Homura feels her breath come more shallowly as the energy begins to encircle her neck; the rings are still harmless to her, but in her mind she feels like she's suffocating.

"You've told me that Madoka destroys all witches before they are born. You know that pouring energy into a grief seed causes it to become the witch it once was. You've also said that Walpurgis Nacht was undefeatable, containing an absurd amount of power, almost as though it were accumulated over great lengths of time." Kyuubey allows this to sink in for a moment. "The only person capable of that is you, Akemi Homura. You are the only one who might be able to warp that continuum, to exist again as a witch. With your power," here Kyuubey nodded at the seed, "and the power of that seed, which is able to summon the forces of all other witches..."

Homura's vision is being slowly obscured by the energy rings slowly crawling further up her face.

"You could be _forever_ together with Kaname Madoka."

It is too good to be true.

"All you would need to do is pour your energy into the seed."

But the answer is within her grasp.

"I hope you'll thank me; I think I've been a great help to figure this out for you."

Homura uses her time-travel ability one final time, and then knows only Madoka's benevolence.

**Author's Note:**

> Some things:
> 
> It never really set right that Homura would still continue being a magical girl after the events of the final episode; after all, Madoka has officially been protected/saved from that loop now. Also, to have a new weapon was likely spawned by something like a new contract, in my head. So yes, to me that means a second contract for Homura.
> 
> Some parts of this fic may not jive entirely with the final episode of the series. I've muddled through this several times already trying to fix inconsistencies, and have in fact changed quite a few things, but I don't know that I was entirely successful in rubbing out all the errors. Either A) feel free to point them out in comments if you feel the need to or B) consider it a somewhat AR. Either way, I wouldn't be offended, lol. Seeing as I wrote this over the course of only a couple days, and my brain is pretty fried, I think it will need to stand as it is for reveals, but I'm not adverse to changing bits later.
> 
> Also, uhhh, I suppose the F/F tag is only needed if you have your yuri!goggles on. Sorry about that. :x


End file.
